Like, if you totally wanna work it in LA like a valley girl, here’s our guide to getting it right. Like totally.
Hailing from the upper middle class San Fernando Valley area of LA, valley girls are unapologetically ditzy, and obsessed by the frivolous pursuits of shopping, makeup and social status. If you aspire to narcissism and foolishness, here’s our awesome guide to, like, totally getting it right. Duh.
1. Top up your tan
2. Kit yourself out in designer labels
3. Keep up appearances – teeth whitening and make-up are essential
4. Have a cute boyfriend to go with your cute shoes!
5. Don’t overdo it through. You’ll show yourself up as British!
6. Brush up on your lingo (Thanks to Ehow)
- Every sentence should be intoned like a question?
- Every phrase should, like, contain the word like at least, like once
- Use “totally” or “way” in place of “very” or “really” for emphasis.
- “As if” is the only response to something you don’t like, or someone who isn’t as cool as you.
- Someone being more stupid than you are? Make sure you let them know by saying “duh.” This should be stretched across two syllables, one inflected up, one down.
- Still not got that negative sentiment across? A drawn out “what-ever” should help you push home the message. Barf, bogus, buggin, gag me with a spoon, grodie, no way and sketchy all also mean bad.
- Replace “good” with any or all of the following: awesome, bonus, classic, excellent, gnarly, killer, major, rad, stoked and sweet.
- Struggling to make your point? Fill in the gaps with “ya know”, “something” ,“so” and “okay.”
And if all this is too much for your pretty little head, you could always just wear this t-shirt…
By Ken Kennedy
